![]() She was left with a good feeling about tour. She bought a shirt that said Tulsa on it. We got wood-fired Pizza and went to a museum. She found the shows exhilarating, she likes technical stuff, the behind-the-scenes, and poured over details like how many road cases we had, how they fit in the trailer, and what everyone on the road team did for the tour. I figured this was a gentle, kind, humane way to introduce Sofia to the customs of a Tegan and Sara tour. She agreed to visit for three days, two of which we’d be in a hotel, stationery. Dream girl.īut when Love You To Death came out and we started to prepare, I wanted Sofia to come to visit, to see it for herself. I don’t know if you told Stacy all of this before she came on tour the first time but when I finished telling Sofia, she said she might skip the Love You To Death tour and just take me on vacation after. The few hours of quiet time after that are often spent in silence recuperating and preparing to play the show. An average day on one of our tours is spent waking up in a parking lot of some random city, being shuttled to a hotel to shower, then on to interviews and meet and greets and soundcheck. Girlfriends wanted date nights or alone time in a hotel. Put the seat down, put your bag away, no changing in the bus hallway.īut the real issue with girlfriends or friends visiting is that people from home always wanted to explore or see things. For the crew, no drinking until the show is loaded out and buses depart. We’re rigid, pragmatic, Virgos, we tell everyone who comes to work for us. You and I have never really been partyers. Rockstars stay up late, sleep late, and party 24/7. A lot of people think touring is all partying and fun. She looked less and less interested in the prospect of coming on tour to visit me the more I unravelled the truth. My stories of past girlfriends visiting tour came out like warnings. But I told Sofia all of this when we started dating. Seven years straight of travelling in the van, and sleeping away the hours sitting up, did a number on my lower back and neck. Now, I’d still trade the privacy of a hotel for the ability to lay down on long drives. After we transitioned into a tour bus from a van, I wondered if the van wasn’t better. It’s hard to connect to a girlfriend while you group live with your workmates and identical twin sister.īack in the van days, we got hotel rooms: two hundred square feet to shed the days' weight, to phone home and gossip and vent and cry in privacy. It’s hard to escape, to find a moment to yourself. But one bus or two - you’re still sharing space. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful we grew large enough as a band to justify a second bus so we could split our party in two: cohabitating with six adults is easier than twelve. ![]() While the tour buses you and I travel on are nice, it’s still shared accommodations. Plus, sleeping on a tour bus in a single bunk is nearly impossible for two adult-sized humans, so even when a girlfriend has come to visit, I often sleep alone. There just isn’t a lot of time for hanging out. It can inspire guilt to have someone come to visit, especially a partner. It’s boring, the days are long, the travel can be arduous and exhausting, and there’s no personal time or personal space to speak of. As you and I both know too well, the road is no place for girlfriends. I was honest about the realities of tour life. Inevitably Sofia and I talked about if she would come on tour. Somehow I still ended up with a dog.īut looming on the horizon was the Love You To Death album release and subsequent tour you and I had committed to. ![]() Sofia is the only person I’ve ever dated who loved cats enough to agree to get one.
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